Downtown Deals

Downtown was full of deals this morning.

“Sunglasses,” a vendor shouted. “Two pairs for five bucks.”

A group of tourists stopped. Six pairs of sunglasses were headed to the Heartland a few minutes later.

“You gotta offer deals these days,” the vendor said. “Everybody’s doin’ it.”

Watches were going for 20 dollars and T-shirts were two for one and Statue of Liberty snow globes were down to three dollars.

Shoe shines were the best deal.

“Only a buck,” the man said. “And every shine comes with a Yankee win.”

“You can guarantee a Yankee win?” someone shot.

“Absolutely,” the man said.

“What can you do with these sneakers?” someone asked.

“I’ll make ‘em look like new,” the man said. “And you can put ‘em up on the coffee table when you’re watching the Yankees tonight.”

“A win, right?” someone asked.

“Yes,” the man said. “There’s no doubt about it.”